The VOID in SmartPhones…

‘Smart Phone’, I Googled.
Google Wikiped me (I should have done that in the first place) that a Smart Phone is an intelligent phone that manages ones data and processes Information- basically a PDA on Steroids which can also call people. Since I couldn’t translate the page into ‘Meaningful’, I scratched my head and closed the browser.
I remember my first mobile phone- It had an antenna, weighed about a ton, fluorescent blue screen with only 3 or 4 ringtones. She worked fine for a couple of years before her battery compartment suddenly swelled up like a puffer fish. Fearing an imminent explosion, I reluctantly had to go in for a new phone. Since then I have been witness (from the trough) to a huge technological wave that has been sweeping the Mobile Industry over the past ten years starting from a radio phone then to smart phones and their respective ecosystems today.
But therein lie’s my problem- You see; I have no qualms with people’s ever increasing dependency on mobile phones for Business, Networking, Educational and Entertainment but why generalize all Homo sapiens who own a phone into that category?
What if I wish to stand out? What if I don’t want Angry Birds or Internet on my phone?(Blasphemous!) What about people like me who have a completely different take on a smart phone? Who gave the Industry the rights to decide the boundaries of smart? Why are users like me, who want nothing more from their phones except to call and message, forced to spend  very less to get a phone that comes with a few unwanted apps like ‘Peeling Paint’ and ‘Tacky Plastic’ thrown in?
‘If you want a good quality phone, shell out more money while simple ignoring the useless Apps and Information Management features in it’ says the Industry.
‘What if I want to spend good money on a phone that can just call and Message but have Super Battery Power, is Military grade Rugged, Slim and other such useful ‘Apps’?’
‘Nooooo….!’ thunder the bosses up there who have decided to push every bit of technology that was ever invented into a tiny phone as tightly packed as possible. ‘Choice is for diapers and people who wear them. Not for Mobiles!!’ they spit in truly Casa Nostra style.
Hence Ladies and Gentlemen, that is the reason why I have taken things into my own hands and come up with this -A simple yet very smart and Powerful phone that really stands out among its bullish contemporaries today. I give to you:

The worlds Simplest Smart Phone: THE VOID


The VOID is a mobile phone whose two primary functions are to:

  • Call People
  • Text People

The primary mode of Interaction in this phone is through the users VOICE (Siri Fans take note- This phone does not have Artificial Intelligence. It does not have a conversation with me. It just understands my Language and vice versa. Nothing fancy or unnecessarily expensive.) This phone has no buttons! I’ve always felt that human beings most efficient sense of Interaction is their Speech. It is after all much easier to use ones mouth rather than hands to get work done isn’t it? (Ask Politicians, they’d vouch for it)
Inbuilt super sensitive voice recognition helps any normally voiced person (Sorry Cher!) to command this phone to perform regular tasks like ‘Calling Mom’, ‘Giving missed call to Shwetha’, dictating SMS’es and many more tasks. Even avoiding pesky calls from unknown numbers and ads becomes easier- ‘Cut Call from 9999900420’. A touch screen is also available for Interface if you happen to find yourself in a Library or a Funeral.
(Being caught saying ‘Macha, I shall be in the bar in half an hour. Just wrapping up here’ over an embalmed body wouldn’t sound very polite would it?)

The Phone also has an intelligent feedback system through the concept of the VOID. That’s right; since this phone does not have any Buttons (Disclaimer: Except for a tiny on/off button to the side). The Halo light encircling the symbolically large hole on the phone is a colour changing LED Light Interface that communicates with the user using sophisticated Colour changing patterns allowing the user to only pick up the phone if necessary.
For Example:  Green Light signifies that the call is Live
Red Light signifies the number called is busy
Now, apart from Calling and Texting, what could be the traits of this smart Phone that makes it stand out according to me?

Features:

  • Calling and Texting using advanced Speech recognition and Voice Feedback
  • Use the backside of the Halo Void as a Bottle opener
  • A high powered Laser light beam that can be used as a match stick to ignite objects held very close to it for a few seconds.
  • The Laser beam can also be used as a measuring tape.
  • An inbuilt high powered horn to save your throat either in traffic or in the Stadium.
  • A unique technology to automate the art of giving Missed calls. With just a simple ‘Give missed call to  Sottai’ command, Mr.Sottai will receive a precise half ring missed call.
  • The phone misplacement alarm is a boon for people who can’t live without their phone but somehow manage to forget it at home too often. With a preset perimeter surrounding your phone, hear it cry out to you the moment you move too far away from it.
  • A High powered torchlight- (No, not single 2 watt LED’s) Am talking Mini Hella Foglamps!
  • Mosquito repellent Vibration Mode
  • The anti- Eve/Adam teasing Stun Gun.

Finally, a mobile phone is not a toy and more importantly shouldn’t look like one. For that reason I strongly condemn any attempt by manufacturers trying out colour variations and styling options. My phone shall come only in Black chrome/ Brushed Silver or Matte Black/ Polished Platinum combinations.

I do have a soft corner for an extravagant Gold finish or what I call the ‘Malluveti Minor (Village Playboy)’option!!

(P.S- For those who are wondering….. The 3D Model of the phone was built in ProEngineer and Digitally Rendered using Keyshot. The idea however originated in a much more complex software system called ‘The Mandai’)

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2 Responses to The VOID in SmartPhones…

  1. Why this Kolaveri? Kolaveri? Kolaveri?

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