Chennai’s Cocktails

The other day I was watching a program on TV. These two guys hosting the show were apparently the world’s greatest ‘Cocktail Experts’! As the show unfolded, I realized that these guys visit different cities in the world and design cocktails based on the creative and cultural inspiration they derived through their interactions with people of the city and their lifestyle and history.

Looking at the cocktails on that show gave me an Idea- Does any city in India have its own genuine cocktail? I mean, how will a true blooded Chennai cocktail be? I tried to find answers and ended up with a few sample Chennai Cocktails:

Disclaimer: (Can’t I write a post without the need for a Disclaimer? Sigh!)
The blogger’s cocktail recipes are intended to tickle your funny bone and not your drinking bone. Please do not try these recipes and later complain of serious health issues like Diarrhoea, Vomiting, uncontrollable urge to watch Vijay movies etc.

The Tea:
The inspiration for this Cocktail stems from Chennai’s everlasting love with the millions of Nair Tea Stalls strews around the city. If tea were made part of a cocktail, Chennai would love it!

Take Tea glass
Pour 2 gulps of Nair Shop Tea (4 teaspoons)
Mix Mc Dowels Whisky cutting (90 ml)
Take Water packet, chew of one edge of packet and squeeze its cold water until glass is full to brim
Top it off with a piece of bun or Rusk for decoration

Somabanam:
Chennai is a city full of Temples. The thread of divinity and celestial folklore is an integral part of the city’s history. Inspired by the fabled drink of the Gods, this cocktail truly makes you feel like a celestial being yourself!

Take Sombu
Pour 90 ml of Paneer (soda made of Rose petals)
Mix 90 ml of country liquor (Toddy)
Add generous amount of sparkling coconut water.
Top it off with a whisker of Camphor, Sandanam and Javvadhu Powder.

Chennai’s Coolant Oil:
 The scorching heat in Chennai makes the buttermilk one of the most favoured drink in the city. Imagine how nice it would be if cocktail lovers were able to enjoy it too on a hot, humid day.

Take regular drinking glass
Pour 180 ml of Masala buttermilk (ingredients are curd, water, ginger, chilli, curry leaf and coriander)
Mix 90 ml of Romanov Vodka in the same.
Add a large dashing of crushed ice.
Topped off with Lime.

And finally, you all remember my good friend Guna, the Auto driver? Well, when I told him I was writing a piece on my blog about potential cocktails influenced by the city of Chennai and showed him my Cocktails, he scoffed and pulled out a single hair out of his head to indicate to me what he thought of my proposed cocktails.
‘You want the real Chennai cocktail? I’ll give you the cocktail that the poor Chennai might prefer!’ he growled as he gave me his recipe.

Disclaimer:  This cocktail should not be consumed by people with Kidney, liver or Heart complaints. Actually, this cocktail should not be consumed by any sane, living Human being on the Planet.

Guna’s Salpetta:

Take Plastic cup.
Pour 60 ml Old monk Rum.
Add 15 ml Salpetta (Car Battery juice)
Mix 30 ml of Sunda Kanji (Besant Nagar beach Alcohol)
Add 1 teaspoon of chilli pickle and stir well.
Fill ‘777’ Soda to the brim

Note: Guna also tells me the ideal way to drink it- Once you are ready, take a few drops of the cocktail and splash it around the table. Then take cup in one hand. Use the other hand to close your nose. Mentally prepare yourself for 5 seconds of an unimaginable urge to puke as you gulp down the entire cocktail in one gulp. Throw away the plastic cup anywhere but in a dustbin!