Don’t know who Guna is? Please read his Intro before Proceeding:
Disclaimer: Before you start wondering how Guna gets to meet his celebrities, let me answer that for you- He swears to me that he keeps bumping into celebrities at his local Tea shop joint. That is where the interviews take place. Even though I know for sure that he’s lying, the fictional interviews are too good not to publish for viewers. So enjoy as Guna takes over!
Ladies, Men, babies and Old people, I am honoured to introduce my guests today in ‘Guna’s Question Marks’ – Indian Tennis uncles- Leander Paes and Magesh Boobathi
Vanakkam Thiru. Boobathi and Leander Sir
Paes: Hi Mr. Guna!
Boobathi Sir, why you are angry?
Hesh: Why? You just saw what he did!
What did he do??
Hesh: He stole my thunder!
He stole your Under’ah? Leander Sir, ch chi… What Sir?! ‘Under’ and all you are stealing!
Paes: (with fake accent) Hey No man, he said Thunder, but that is a Blunder!
Sir please, no Punch Dialogue! Already Tamil Nadu is affected by it!
Hesh: Country Brute!
I want to ask both of you-Why you 2 are fighting? What is the problem?
Paes: Well, it’s complicated. Our personalities clash and…
Hesh: Our wavelengths don’t match. You see…
Wavelength’ah? What ya, you are talking like divorce applied couple?!
Paes: We just can’t play together anymore man. Its over!
But why Ya? Tell me!
Hesh: Well ok, I shall tell you something that has been hidden from the world for over a decade now
Hesh: It was during a match in the French Open…
Paes: Hesh, No…
Hesh: I caught this fellow stealing my Juice Bottle!!
Paes: He’s lying. I am a man of Integrity and…
Hesh: I have video evidence dude
Paes: Oh… well, I was thirsty and we were a team and…
Dei… both of you used big English words like ‘Wavelength’, ‘Personality’ and all but after all one juice packet is creating problem for India’s Olympic medal’s ah?
Paes: This guy blows things out of proportion man. He isn’t fit to play with me anymore.
Hesh: Yeah! That’s why I want to play with Rohan in the Olympics
Paes: You keep Rohan out of this. He is mine!!
Hesh: No No. He is Mine!
Paes Sir, Boobathi Sir. Please Control. If you want I have one idea to decide who ‘keeps’ Rogan!
Paes: Do tell us the idea
I will put toss to decide!
Hesh: Good idea!
Peas: Fine by me.
Hesh: I call heads
Paes: No. Heads is mine. Tail’s yours
Hesh: No. I said first
Paes: I am older and more senior, and also…
Shut up!! Grr… I shall choose myself. Heads means Rohan belongs to Boobathi, tails means to Paes. Ok?
(The coin is spun)
It is Heads, so Rohan Goes to Boobathi
Paes: What? No way. I will not play in Olympics
Hesh: Thank God for that! Sick and tired of your Chest Bumps man!
No, Paes Sir. We will give you Sania Mirza for mixed doubles.
Hesh: She’s still around?!
Paes: Umm… Ok, whatever!!
Saar, finally, what about medals at the Olympics?
Hesh: Hey, be reasonable man. We just went through a gruelling ‘Ego trip’. You can’t expect us to seriously win medals do you?
Paes: Yeah man. I am so damn tired. I need a break.
Hesh: Dude, you wanna go get a beer, now that things have been worked out between us?
Paes: Sure Homie. Let’s go!
Punitha Peeye! (Holy Shit)!! (Guna yells out in despair!)